i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
