everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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