we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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