i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
