I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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