I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
