We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
