well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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