i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
is that a dick in a sweater?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
