The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
