Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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