I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
