I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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