I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
