And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
