I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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