I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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