Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
