Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
