This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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