And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
