You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
