Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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