We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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