you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
