How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
