it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
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i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
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Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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