I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
