"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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