3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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