In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"