Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
