i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
