the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
