Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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