There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think my vagina is haunted
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
