It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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