Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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