The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
