hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
