Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Randomize
Follow @tfln