puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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