I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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