He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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