It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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