either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
