I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
