oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
