guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
