Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
