her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
the raccoons are back...
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