Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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