He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
