I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
