my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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