she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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