Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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