That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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