we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Success! We fucked roommates!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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