She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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