I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
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The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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