Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
