I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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