Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
